One out of every four women in this country will suffer some kind of violence at the hands of her husband or boyfriend.

Very few will tell anyone - not a friend, a relative, a neighbor, or the police.

Victims of domestic violence come from all walks of life - all cultures, all income groups, all ages, all religions. They share feelings of helplessness, isolation, guilt, fear, and shame.

All hope it won't happen again, but often it does.

ARE YOU ABUSED? DOES SOMEONE YOU LOVE...

• "Track" all of your time?

• Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?

• Discourage your relationships with family and friends?

• Prevent you from working or attending group meetings or school?

• Criticize you for little things?

• Anger easily when drinking alcohol or taking drugs?

• Control all of the finances and force you to account in detail for what you spend?

• Humiliate you in front of others?

• Destroy personal property or sentimental items?

• Hit, punch, slap, kick, or bite you or the children?

• Use, or threaten to use, a weapon against you?

• Threaten to hurt you or the children?

• Force you to engage in sex against your will?

If you answer "yes" to even a few of these questions, it's time to get help!

IF YOU ARE HURT, WHAT CAN YOU DO?

• There are no easy answers, but there are things that you can do to protect yourself:

• Call the police. Assault, even by a family member, is a crime. The police have information about shelters and other agencies that help victims of domestic violence.

• Leave, or have someone come stay with you. Go to a battered-women's shelter - you can call a crisis hotline in your community, or a health center, to locate a shelter.

• Get medical attention from your doctor or a hospital emergency room. Ask the staff to photograph your injuries and keep detailed records in case you decide to take legal action.

DON'T IGNORE THE PROBLEM!

• Contact the Family Court or police department for information about a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). Which can legally prohibit your abuser from having any contact with you and/or your children.

• Talk to someone. Part of the abuser's power comes from secrecy. Victims are often ashamed to let anyone know about intimate family problems. Go to a friend or neighbor, or call a domestic violence hotline to talk to a counselor.

• Plan ahead and know what you will do if you are attacked again. If you decide to leave, choose a place to go, and set aside some money.
  Put important papers together - marriage license, birth certificates, checkbooks, savings account books, social security cards, insurance information - in a place where you can get to them quickly.

HAVE YOU HURT SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY?

• Accept the fact that your violent behavior will destroy your family. Be aware that you break a law when you physically hurt someone.

• Take responsibility for your actions and get help.

• When you feel tension building, get away. Work off the angry energy through a walk, a project, or a sport.

• Call a domestic violence hotline or a health center and ask about counseling & support groups for people who batter.

THE HIGH COST OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

• Men and women who follow their parents' example and use violence to solve conflicts are teaching the same destructive behavior to their children.

• Jobs can be lost or careers halted as a result of injuries, arrests, or harassment.

• Lives can be lost - violent behavior often leads to death!

TAKE A STAND!

• Reach out to someone you believe is a victim of family violence, or to someone you think is being abusive. Don't give up easily - changes take time. Ending the family's isolation is a critical first step.

• Use organizations and businesses to raise community awareness by hosting speakers on domestic violence, launching public-education campaigns, and raising funds for shelters and hotlines.

• Ask the local newspaper, radio station, or TV station to examine the problem and publicize resources in the community through special features and forums.

HELPLINE NUMBERS

• Wall Township Regional Domestic Violence Crisis Intervention Team: covering Wall, Manasquan, Brielle and Spring Lake. 732-449-4500

• 180 TURNING LIVES AROUND 732-264-4111
  WCMC Court Liason Program 732-431-7926                                         

• Domestic Violence 732-264-4111 or toll free at 888-THE-WCMC

• Sexual Assault 732-264-RAPE or toll free at 888-264-RAPE

• STATE HOTLINE 1-800-572-7233

• NJ Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) 1-800-792-8820